I hate the first day after break. I got back to school yesterday evening, but it feels like I just got back this morning.
I have a love-hate relationship with Thanksgiving break. I love it, because it's Thanksgiving break, and that means I'm home. I hate it, because it's just long enough to start feeling like I'm home again, but it's not long enough to see everyone I want to see, or to really settle in and relax.
This semester has been a good one, but right now I'm freaking out a little. The next two weeks are going to be dedicated to finals preparation. I have my don rags (Torrey final) a week earlier than normal because my mentor, Dr. Vincent, is due to have her baby at the end of the semester, and she didn't want to risk having her water break during finals. The downside is that I have even less time to re-transition back into school because I must immediately start prepping for don rags, but the upside is that I'll be done with my most stressful final a week early, which will probably be good; I'm getting a (bad) feeling that I'll have to study a fair amount for my music theory final.
Music theory has become a sort of thorn in my side. I'm the only one to blame; I just haven't put a lot of work into it this semester, partly because for the bulk of the last two months my time, thoughts and energy have been dedicated to "The Dining Room", and partly because I just don't really like music theory. At this point, I don't think I'm going to continue my music minor. All in all, I just don't have a lot of drive for it anymore.
I feel like the semester is basically over, but I still have to study hard and get ready for finals. My mind is racing; there's so much to do before the end of the semester.
While the play was going on, I let myself get a little lost in it. I let myself slack off a little on schoolwork, but I'm worried that it's going to come back and bite me.
I really need a few days of buffer in order to get my bearings; it's hard to just dive back into things. I can't believe how fast this semester has flown by. So much has happened, and there are so many more changes in the future.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 19, 2009
School Thoughts
This week has left me very scatter-brained so far, and I doubt it will end any time soon.
I've been thinking a lot about my major, and what direction I want to go in school. For the past year and a half I have felt very aimless, and I haven't really come across anything that I've felt passionate about, and actually excited about pursuing. Until now.
I guess I've been thinking about journalism for a few months, really; I remember the thought floating around in my head a bit over the summer, as I considered my interest in writing and telling stories about real people. This semester I've had more conversations about it with Dr. Vincent, other students, and just time to think about it myself, and it's beginning to solidify as something I think I'd actually like to do.
What got it started was my involvement in "The Dining Room". Since I was in the play, I was exempt from writing a Torrey paper this semester; in lieu of that, Dr. Vincent said she'd have me write a short reflection about my experience in the play, to have something besides everyday assignments to hone my writing a bit.
In a later meeting with Dr. Vincent, she told me that she had been thinking about my interest in theatre, and reflective art, and things like This American Life, and suggested that I think about journalism as a possible major choice. It seemed like a good fit.
Well, I have been thinking about it, and while I've wavered between English and Journalism a bit, the more I think about it the more journalism does seem like a good fit. At the moment, I'm thinking that a journalism major plus an English minor would be a good combination. That way, I could incorporate creative writing and literary analysis into journalism, because I think that journalism would enable me to more actively pursue what I'd like to do. I'd learn how to research topics and put together stories, as well as have the opportunity to publish articles or do editorial work, which would be great experience for future jobs.
I've been thinking a lot about my major, and what direction I want to go in school. For the past year and a half I have felt very aimless, and I haven't really come across anything that I've felt passionate about, and actually excited about pursuing. Until now.
I guess I've been thinking about journalism for a few months, really; I remember the thought floating around in my head a bit over the summer, as I considered my interest in writing and telling stories about real people. This semester I've had more conversations about it with Dr. Vincent, other students, and just time to think about it myself, and it's beginning to solidify as something I think I'd actually like to do.
What got it started was my involvement in "The Dining Room". Since I was in the play, I was exempt from writing a Torrey paper this semester; in lieu of that, Dr. Vincent said she'd have me write a short reflection about my experience in the play, to have something besides everyday assignments to hone my writing a bit.
In a later meeting with Dr. Vincent, she told me that she had been thinking about my interest in theatre, and reflective art, and things like This American Life, and suggested that I think about journalism as a possible major choice. It seemed like a good fit.
Well, I have been thinking about it, and while I've wavered between English and Journalism a bit, the more I think about it the more journalism does seem like a good fit. At the moment, I'm thinking that a journalism major plus an English minor would be a good combination. That way, I could incorporate creative writing and literary analysis into journalism, because I think that journalism would enable me to more actively pursue what I'd like to do. I'd learn how to research topics and put together stories, as well as have the opportunity to publish articles or do editorial work, which would be great experience for future jobs.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Depravity and Hope?
I just realized I need to prepare a devotion for session a week from Wednesday. I'm not pressed for time or anything, but I want to be thinking about it in the back of my mind as I go through my week, and prepare for the second weekend of "The Dining Room". I've been searching for hope in the play, and I'm beginning to wonder if there is any, or if it's just unresolved. As a Christian, I can supply my own hope in light of human depravity, but is it there in the play itself? Maybe I can work these thoughts into a devotion somehow. It would be appropriate, with what we've been reading this semester, and now how we're going through Paul's epistles. We'll see what happens.
The Constant Battle
I feel that I am a bad planner.
In "A Severe Mercy", Sheldon Vanauken, when speaking of the relatively short marriage he enjoyed with his wife, Davy, said that in spite of the fact that they never even reached a silver anniversary, he felt that they had had very timeful (that is, time-full) lives. If you read his book (which you should; go get it RIGHT NOW), by the time you get to the part where he says this, you'll know exactly what he means. He speaks of him and Davy spending entire summer days walking and talking and reading, and there are many "moments made eternity" that they share, in which they are so engrossed in the moment that it seems as though time has ceased to exist.
So often I feel like I am being pushed forward by time. This is where the planning thing comes in; maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, but I feel that if I were to plan things out better, and be more intentional with how I spend my time, I wouldn't feel like my time were being taken from me. It's so strange that humans and time are locked in a constant struggle; no one ever seems satisfied with their relationship to time. There's always too little, it goes too fast or too slow, and the more time passes the less time we have. I get a little depressed thinking about it.
Lately I've been feeling like I need to write down everything that happens in my life; lots of big things have happened in the past few weeks, but it's hard to take the time to really sit down and process everything. Yet if I don't, I feel like somehow those events and experiences will escape me. There's something in my subconscience that believes if I can only write everything down, that thief called time won't be able to steal it away from me. And yet, when I try to journal in a play-by-play style, it feels more like a burden than a release.
I'm not really sure how to resolve my thoughts. I feel a little unresolved, so maybe it's appropriate.
In "A Severe Mercy", Sheldon Vanauken, when speaking of the relatively short marriage he enjoyed with his wife, Davy, said that in spite of the fact that they never even reached a silver anniversary, he felt that they had had very timeful (that is, time-full) lives. If you read his book (which you should; go get it RIGHT NOW), by the time you get to the part where he says this, you'll know exactly what he means. He speaks of him and Davy spending entire summer days walking and talking and reading, and there are many "moments made eternity" that they share, in which they are so engrossed in the moment that it seems as though time has ceased to exist.
So often I feel like I am being pushed forward by time. This is where the planning thing comes in; maybe I'm just thinking about it too much, but I feel that if I were to plan things out better, and be more intentional with how I spend my time, I wouldn't feel like my time were being taken from me. It's so strange that humans and time are locked in a constant struggle; no one ever seems satisfied with their relationship to time. There's always too little, it goes too fast or too slow, and the more time passes the less time we have. I get a little depressed thinking about it.
Lately I've been feeling like I need to write down everything that happens in my life; lots of big things have happened in the past few weeks, but it's hard to take the time to really sit down and process everything. Yet if I don't, I feel like somehow those events and experiences will escape me. There's something in my subconscience that believes if I can only write everything down, that thief called time won't be able to steal it away from me. And yet, when I try to journal in a play-by-play style, it feels more like a burden than a release.
I'm not really sure how to resolve my thoughts. I feel a little unresolved, so maybe it's appropriate.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Act I: A Major Decision
I am fascinated by the constant chain-reactions of life. It seems like everything, from individual relationships to political and religious movements to ideas in the media and the arts are nothing more than a series of actions and reactions. Everyone is reacting to what the people before them said, although sometimes ideas become circular, like fashion trends. Is there a limit to the ideas that we plant our flags in, or is there no end to where it goes? Is this chain-reaction of life going in a circle, or in a straight line?
The more I think about it, the more I talk about it with other people, and the more I experiment with it, the more I think I want to be a journalism major. I love thinking about abstract ideas, but I also love thinking about real people and experiences, and applying those ideas to the realities of life. Journalism seems like a good place to do that. I'd want it with a literary twist, though; news anchoring or newspaper reporting sounds boring to me, not creative enough.
As my paper project I'm in the Torrey play, and my mentor suggested, after I expressed an interest in creative journalism, "This American Life" style, that I could produce a creative non-fiction podcast as a reflection on my experience in the play. I need to just sit down and think about how I want to do that; the play opens this week, and this semester has been a whirlwind so I haven't taken the time to really hammer it out. I'm excited for it, though, and like I said, the more I think about journalism like that, the more it sounds like something I'd actually want to do.
The more I think about it, the more I talk about it with other people, and the more I experiment with it, the more I think I want to be a journalism major. I love thinking about abstract ideas, but I also love thinking about real people and experiences, and applying those ideas to the realities of life. Journalism seems like a good place to do that. I'd want it with a literary twist, though; news anchoring or newspaper reporting sounds boring to me, not creative enough.
As my paper project I'm in the Torrey play, and my mentor suggested, after I expressed an interest in creative journalism, "This American Life" style, that I could produce a creative non-fiction podcast as a reflection on my experience in the play. I need to just sit down and think about how I want to do that; the play opens this week, and this semester has been a whirlwind so I haven't taken the time to really hammer it out. I'm excited for it, though, and like I said, the more I think about journalism like that, the more it sounds like something I'd actually want to do.
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