Like Watching the Sunrise

I've always wondered at the concept of growing up. It's a complex process, and a transition that's impossible to pinpoint exactly. There doesn't seem to be a moment in time you can press your finger against and exclaim, "Aha! Here marks the turning point into adulthood."

No, it seems much more gradual, and seamless, than that. Of course, there are certain milestones everyone is familiar with (in no particular order): the eighteenth and twenty-first birthdays, graduating from college, moving out, marriage. But all of these things happen in different ways, and at different times, for all of us.

I think that growing up is like watching the sunrise. The world seems to barely change at first, yet before you know it, dawn has broken, and what was cool and dark and quiet only a few minutes before is now flooded with light and life and warmth. It is both fast and slow, both a stark change and a gradual one. The more I live, the more I see that life is a combination of paradoxes; it seems I have found one yet again.

I know several people - peers of mine, people I went to high school with - who are recently married. It's been very strange, watching people I know go through such a big life transition; mainly because it doesn't seem like much has changed. Just the other day, I was looking at photos from someone's honeymoon, and all I could think was that these people looked just the same as they always had. Nothing had changed. They were still the couple I had always known.

And that's when I realized that while marriage is a huge change, in some ways, it's not. People don't change completely after they get married. The next day, you're still the same person, the same couple, that you've always been. With your same mannerisms, sense of humor, goals, dreams, vices.

I think the reason this discovery came as such a surprise to me was that for all of my life up until now, there has been a great gap between me (the child) and married people (the mature adults who have their lives more or less sorted out). But now, I'm entering the stage of life where the adults, the ones becoming married people, are my peers, and I myself am a part of that group. The gap between me and adults that I know is slowly, yet quickly, shrinking.

I've always thought that I'll never realize I've grown up until it's already happened. I pictured myself looking into the mirror one day and realizing that I am no longer a child. That day hasn't come yet, and I'm not quite sure when it will. But it is coming, slowly, and quickly.