All in a day's work

I think I've had a fairly productive evening.

I say "evening" because I didn't actually start any of my work until after the sun had gone down. I woke up late, showered, met a friend for lunch, said goodbye to said friend because today was his last day on campus, got coffee, bumped into another friend at the coffee shop, shot the breeze with second friend, went back to my dorm, proofread my fiance's paper for him, talked through my proofreading with fiance, AND THEN got my stuff together and drove to Starbucks to study.

Like I've mentioned before, my music theory final is in the morning, at 8:00. Yuck. If there's anything this class has taught me, it's that anything that happens before 9:00 in the morning might as well not happen at all.

Perhaps that's an unfair statement. Perhaps play rehearsals that run until midnight or later don't mix well with 8AM classes. Regardless, I think I would have learned a lot more about theory if the class had simply been held an hour later in the day. Oh well. The play was worth it.

I spent a good hour 1/2 or more reviewing theory, and I think I'm in pretty good standing for tomorrow. The stuff from the beginning of the term is basic, stuff I already knew; the stuff we just learned is still fresh in my mind; I went back and brushed up on the newer concepts from the middle, and all in all I feel fairly solid. I hope. After this I've got just one more final to go!

After studying, I went to Target and got some supplies for Christmas gifts I'm working on. Usually I'm pretty bad at gift-giving, but this year everything seems like it's falling nicely into place.

Just a little something

I'd like to post more pictures in my blog. After all, I am a visual-learner type of person. I sort of think everyone is, really.

What an unexpected semester this has been. I know I keep talking about it, but it's because I can't stop thinking about it.

Music theory final Tuesday. Sight-singing final Thursday. Hopefully lots of talks and hugs and goodbyes with friends in between. Tomorrow morning I'm going to Target to get some stuff for Christmas gifts I'm putting together for the cast and crew of "The Dining Room" and for my lovely Torrey group, Gregory of Nyssa. I usually feel really bad at stuff like this; planning, gift-giving. But these might actually turn out nice. We'll see. I'm still bad at planning, though.

Seasons

I need another accordion file. Probably a couple, actually. I just spent some time cleaning up my desk space, which was covered in papers and mail and books. I am not a naturally organized person, and sometimes I don't know how my (more tidy) room mates put up with me. Clothing is the worst; when I get lazy, I don't bother to fold or put away clothes when I take them off. Especially if I'm just stumbling in after a long day; all I want to do is get in bed ASAP.

Another thing I need: to write something, even just a little something, every day. I think I'll set a goal for myself - maybe to spend fifteen to twenty minutes writing, either in my journal or on here, every day. The past few days I've been thinking to myself, I need to write, I need to organize my thoughts; but I haven't made the time, and if I put it off, those thoughts slowly fade away.

I think I could be a writer someday, in some form. I enjoy it, and my mentor says I've "got the chops" for it. But I am learning that, like almost everything in life, it is definitely a craft that needs to be practiced and perfected. One does not become a brilliant writer with charming syntax and a polished voice in a day, or a week, or a year. Life is all about the process. Life is, itself, one continuous process of continuous change and growth. As is writing, I think. As are most things.

This semester. Sheesh. So much has happened, most of it unexpected. I was in the play, which was one of the most formative experiences of my life; I made friendships I never knew I would make; I read a TON of theology; I got engaged. I feel like a totally different person now than the scared, insecure girl who began this semester. I'd almost forgotten about that girl entirely.

This semester, this crazy, wonderful, life-changing semester, finally feels like it's really coming to a close. Today, my good friends Anna and Christine threw me a bridal shower. It was so much fun, with lots of laughing and food and games. God has blessed me beyond words with the people, and the friends, that are here. In all of the heights and depths this semester has brought, they have rallied around me with encouragement and tender, genuine love. I think it's rare to find that in a group of people.

When the shower was over, it was a little bittersweet as I realized that it might be the last time for a long time that I see some of those friends. When the term's officially over next week and everyone has scattered in the wind, there will be some people I won't see until, perhaps, the day before our wedding - if then. It's really ending, I've realized. It's caught me a little off-guard; mostly, I think, because this semester has been jam packed with business and change. So much has happened, it's hard to believe it's almost over. This adventure is finally ending, and a new one is about to begin.

But, I do know that while it is more sad to leave this place because of the deep friendships I have gained, there is comfort for that very same reason. Although this is an end, it's not the end, and there are few people I'm saying goodbye to now whom I doubt will remain a part of my life, in some (if only small) shape or form for a very long time.

But even if not. Even if after a couple of years I lose touch with people, even if this is the last time I see some of them (I pray that's not the case), it will be okay. Because it has been good. It has been painful, and hard, and unbearably scary at times, but it has been good. I have tried, I have learned, I have grown, I have loved. And that will only continue in the future, whatever happens.

I have regrets. But this time, this season in my life - it has not been a waste.

Fall in Winter and Free Hot Chocolate

Today is a beautiful day. It's December 1, but it feels more like Albuquerque in October.

I got a free hot chocolate at Common Grounds, the Biola coffee shop; I came in here to procrastinate before my next class, and I guess the barista accidentally made an extra hot chocolate. Score.

The Last Leg

I hate the first day after break. I got back to school yesterday evening, but it feels like I just got back this morning.

I have a love-hate relationship with Thanksgiving break. I love it, because it's Thanksgiving break, and that means I'm home. I hate it, because it's just long enough to start feeling like I'm home again, but it's not long enough to see everyone I want to see, or to really settle in and relax.

This semester has been a good one, but right now I'm freaking out a little. The next two weeks are going to be dedicated to finals preparation. I have my don rags (Torrey final) a week earlier than normal because my mentor, Dr. Vincent, is due to have her baby at the end of the semester, and she didn't want to risk having her water break during finals. The downside is that I have even less time to re-transition back into school because I must immediately start prepping for don rags, but the upside is that I'll be done with my most stressful final a week early, which will probably be good; I'm getting a (bad) feeling that I'll have to study a fair amount for my music theory final.

Music theory has become a sort of thorn in my side. I'm the only one to blame; I just haven't put a lot of work into it this semester, partly because for the bulk of the last two months my time, thoughts and energy have been dedicated to "The Dining Room", and partly because I just don't really like music theory. At this point, I don't think I'm going to continue my music minor. All in all, I just don't have a lot of drive for it anymore.

I feel like the semester is basically over, but I still have to study hard and get ready for finals. My mind is racing; there's so much to do before the end of the semester.

While the play was going on, I let myself get a little lost in it. I let myself slack off a little on schoolwork, but I'm worried that it's going to come back and bite me.

I really need a few days of buffer in order to get my bearings; it's hard to just dive back into things. I can't believe how fast this semester has flown by. So much has happened, and there are so many more changes in the future.

School Thoughts

This week has left me very scatter-brained so far, and I doubt it will end any time soon.

I've been thinking a lot about my major, and what direction I want to go in school. For the past year and a half I have felt very aimless, and I haven't really come across anything that I've felt passionate about, and actually excited about pursuing. Until now.

I guess I've been thinking about journalism for a few months, really; I remember the thought floating around in my head a bit over the summer, as I considered my interest in writing and telling stories about real people. This semester I've had more conversations about it with Dr. Vincent, other students, and just time to think about it myself, and it's beginning to solidify as something I think I'd actually like to do.

What got it started was my involvement in "The Dining Room". Since I was in the play, I was exempt from writing a Torrey paper this semester; in lieu of that, Dr. Vincent said she'd have me write a short reflection about my experience in the play, to have something besides everyday assignments to hone my writing a bit.

In a later meeting with Dr. Vincent, she told me that she had been thinking about my interest in theatre, and reflective art, and things like This American Life, and suggested that I think about journalism as a possible major choice. It seemed like a good fit.

Well, I have been thinking about it, and while I've wavered between English and Journalism a bit, the more I think about it the more journalism does seem like a good fit. At the moment, I'm thinking that a journalism major plus an English minor would be a good combination. That way, I could incorporate creative writing and literary analysis into journalism, because I think that journalism would enable me to more actively pursue what I'd like to do. I'd learn how to research topics and put together stories, as well as have the opportunity to publish articles or do editorial work, which would be great experience for future jobs.

Depravity and Hope?

I just realized I need to prepare a devotion for session a week from Wednesday. I'm not pressed for time or anything, but I want to be thinking about it in the back of my mind as I go through my week, and prepare for the second weekend of "The Dining Room". I've been searching for hope in the play, and I'm beginning to wonder if there is any, or if it's just unresolved. As a Christian, I can supply my own hope in light of human depravity, but is it there in the play itself? Maybe I can work these thoughts into a devotion somehow. It would be appropriate, with what we've been reading this semester, and now how we're going through Paul's epistles. We'll see what happens.